god, i feel so selfish and self-centered and hopeless. i mean, i have feelings for this guy. i've had them for a while now, and i think he knows.

i'm not sure, but i want him to know anyway. because, we've been friends for a long time, and i've had feelings for him in the past and i think we've both gotten over it. or more that i've gotten over the fact he'd probably never fancy me anyway because he's so much better than me. so much more than i deserve.

i hoped he liked me though. but it was only hope, and fruitless hope as well. his words tell me plainly, with no illusions implied or given. he has feelings for someone else.

i'm so pathetic like that, my stupid heart and emotions being silly like that. well, he's probably happier without me in his life anyway.

i haven't seen him for a while now; and i miss him a lots and lots. does he miss me? no, of course he wouldn't.

....